Transform Your Words in 4 Steps

By Tony Robbins

In a previous blog post, Change your words, change your life, we talked about how our habitual emotional vocabulary shapes and controls much of our emotional experiences in life – how the labels we put upon our experience become our experience.

Today, let’s take a look at how you can transform the quality of your entire life simply by becoming conscious of what habitual vocabulary you use for negative emotions, and shifting them with words that break your patterns and provide you with new and better emotional choices.

Your assignment is very simple: Below you’ll see my 10-day challenge. I call it “Watch Your TV,” watch your “Transformational Vocabulary.” The labels you attach to your experience can transform the way you feel. Again, it’s not hard to realize that if you habitually take any intense emotion and say it’s “depressing,” it’s going to feel very different than if you say you’re feeling a little “down.” Being enraged by somebody’s reaction is very different than being a bit frustrated by their response. Saying to yourself they utterly rejected you, is quite different than they didn’t agree with your suggestion.

The real secret to transforming your life is to wake up and become conscious of the patterns that are currently unconscious and shaping the way you feel.

Ultimately the way we feel determines the quality of your life. You could have whatever you think life’s dream is—building a billion dollar enterprise or a family that totally loves and adores you—but if every single day you live with the emotions of feeling frustrated and angry, then the quality of your life is called frustration and anger—it has nothing to do with the economic opportunities you have, much less the love you are surrounded by.

The quality of our lives is the quality of our emotions.

The power of Transformational Vocabulary is its simplicity. It provides you with an immediate tool to increase the quality of your life. So here are the four steps to your 10-day challenge:

STEP 1: CHECK YOURSELF

Become conscious of the habitual words you use to describe your unhappy or distressing feelings. Begin to notice the labels you are putting on things.

If you say something like, “I’m so worried about this,” stop yourself and acknowledge that “worry” might be too strong a word. Maybe what you really are is “a little bit concerned.” Monitor your language and make sure your language isn’t exaggerating the intensity of emotions. Or better yet, consciously pick a word that would lower the negative intensity (instead of saying that you are “furious” with someone, describe yourself as being a little “irritated” or “disappointed with their reaction”).

If somebody asks you, “How’s it going?” instead of saying, “Okay,” what would be a word that might put a smile on your face to even say, that would break your own pattern? Like, “You wouldn’t even believe how I’m feeling!” with a smile, to be playful with yourself. Or a simple response like “I’m committed” or “I’m lucky” or “I’m grateful.” And then take a moment to think about what you are grateful for. We often lose sight of what’s beautiful in our life because of a few things that are out of line with our expectations.

My wife Sage is truly a master of this. Her favorite language pattern is when most people would say “S**t” she says, “Sugar doodle,” or when something really brutal happens, she’ll often say “Ooooh Boy.” Her response seems so ridiculous. It’s not that she doesn’t know how difficult things are, but her state of joy is infectious – her language patterns don’t just break her patterns, but mine and everyone’s around her as well. She truly expresses more joy and happiness than anyone I know.

STEP 2: IDENTIFY 3 NEGATIVE WORDS

Write down three words you currently use on a regular basis that intensify your negative feelings or emotions. Maybe you use words like “I’m frustrated,” “I’m depressed,” or “I’m humiliated.” Come up with alternative words that will lower the intensity of those negative emotions. Maybe instead of “depressed” you say you are “a little bit down.”

What would happen if instead of saying you feel “humiliated” you say you are “uncomfortable” with how the situation was dealt with? You can soften emotional intensity even further by using modifiers like “I’m just a bit peeved,” or, “I’m feeling a tad out of sorts.”

STEP 3: FIND 3 POSITIVE WORDS

Write down three words that you use to describe your experience that is somewhat positive. When someone says, “how’s it going?” come up with three alternative words that will amplify and intensify the positive feelings and inspire you. Instead of talking about how things are “all right,” replace those words with “incredible,” “outrageous,” and “spectacular.” What’s a positive word that if you really thought about your whole life, you could say and own congruently?

STEP 4: PICK TWO “ACCOUNTABILITY” BUDDIES

Get leverage so you follow through. Pick two key people in your life – a close friend and ideally someone you respect that you would not want to disappoint. Pull them aside and explain to them your commitment to replace two or three key words in your vocabulary.

Most importantly, give them permission if they hear you using the old word to ask you if that’s really the word you want to use to explain how you feel. For example: Let them know if you start to say, “John f’n pisses me off,” that you want them to intervene and ask you, “Do you mean John’s behavior frustrates you a bit J?”

I know this sounds ridiculous, but if you are committed, a simple reminder will get you to catch yourself and lower the intensity immediately. It will help you recognize that you have control of your own space in this moment and by simply selecting a different word, you can change the meaning completely. If you do this well, you’ll find yourself smiling while you do it, like an inside joke. But it’s impact is no laughing matter.

Or if you use a phrase like “I’m depressed,” you may want them to ask you, “Hey are you depressed about this, or are you feeling a little bit down?” Are you frustrated or fascinated by how people often respond to things? Making a commitment to make these changes to a dear friend or an important and respected colleague will give you the additional support and incentive to actually follow through and break your own patterns.

By carefully and consciously selecting the words you are attaching to your experiences and doing it for a ten-day period, you’ll find an immediate change in how you feel and this becomes positively addictive. I can tell you for those who have lived this ten-day plan, the experience can be life-changing.

Again, I know it sounds overly simplistic, but if you test it out and are diligent with it for 10 days, you’ll experience a transformation in your emotional patterns – and the emotional patterns we live are what control the quality of our life. You’ll even feel the difference in your body – a lot less pain and a lot more pleasure. Don’t you deserve to have a better quality of life? Plus when you’re in a great state, how do you treat others? The better your state, the more powerful the impact on everyone around you – your businesses, your friends, and your family.

Read the original article HERE.

Wayne Dyer On Leadership

By Henna Inam

Dr. Wayne Dyer was one of my favorite authors. He passed away on Aug 29, 2015 at the age of 75.

If leadership is about influencing others, Wayne Dyer was one giant leader in influencing millions of people around the world. He was a master salesman, making many of his 30 books best-sellers, and raising over $100 million dollars for public broadcasting. His essential leadership message was to lead from the power within us. Most remarkably, he lived the messages he taught. Here are ten of his most powerful quotes to inspire your leadership today.

1. “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” The essence of this message is the power of perspective. Our leadership challenges and behaviors often come from how we see things and the “story” or “meaning” we make about what we see. We can transcend many of the challenges we face simply by deciding to find a more empowered perspective. Wayne Dyer lived most of his childhood (up to the age of 10) in an orphanage. His father walked out on their family and his mother could not afford to take care of three young boys. He was able to transcend his childhood difficulties and indeed used his challenges to teach others. What will you see differently today that will serve your leadership?

2. “A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.” Our 24/7 workplaces have us stressed and overwhelmed. More than ever, we need to find our center to make the right decisions. How do you find your center in the midst of the chaos and churn to make emotionally intelligent decisions?

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How to Make Business Decisions…

By Richard Branson

Making a good informed decision is not that different to sitting on a jury – all reasonable doubt has to be removed before you can pass a verdict one way or the other. Thankfully, though, corporate decisions are seldom a matter of life or death!

Here are a few general rules that I have found help me to get to the point of taking the plunge (or not) within the appropriate time frames:

Don’t judge a book by its cover

Like me you may be someone who’s big on first impressions when you meet people but you can’t let the same thought process influence your decision-making. If on first hearing an idea strikes you as a really good one, you may well be correct, but you mustn’t allow that first reaction to influence your ability to objectively weigh the cons as well as all the pros when they are presented.

Do your homework

Just because no significant cons are presented it doesn’t mean they don’t exist, so get someone on to digging them up and evaluating them while you still have the time – discovering them after you’ve launched the deal doesn’t do you any favours. Insisting that this homework is conducted becomes doubly important if and when everyone is unanimously in favour of going ahead with the project. Nothing is perfect, so work hard at uncovering whatever hidden warts the thing might have and by removing them you’ll only make it better still.

Avoid making decisions in isolation

Every decision has some degree of impact on your ability to adopt other future opportunities in what the experts call ‘the decision stream’. This one may be a ‘too good to miss’ opportunity but how will it affect other projects or priorities and, if now is not the best time to do it, what risks if any are there in putting the thing on hold for an agreed period of time? If you cannot manage this project in addition to another that’s waiting in the wings, which one gets the nod and why?

Do everything you can to protect the downside

All wise investors go to great lengths to do this with their stock portfolios and when setting up a new business you should try to employ the same strategies. For example, when we started Virgin Atlantic, the only way I got my business partners in Virgin Records to begrudgingly accept the risks involved was by getting Boeing to agree to take back our one 747 after a year if things weren’t working out as we hoped. To this day, with giant, capital-intensive ventures like Virgin Galactic and Virgin Voyages, we always spend a lot of time in finding inventive ways to mitigate the downside.

Give it time

If you have the time to use the ‘orchestrated procrastination’ approach then do so. Without getting into the ‘paralysis by analysis’ mode, doing more rather than less homework on a project is seldom a bad thing. While looking at it more deeply you may find better alternatives or the marketplace may change.

Making smart informed decisions is why leaders get paid the big bucks. There is really no science to getting it right every time which is why (unfortunately) decision-making is not a process that can be programmed to come in ‘just in time’ across the board. However, across 50 years in business, I’ve used the tips above to help ease the process. I hope you find them useful too.

Read the original article HERE

4 Business Strategies from World’s #1 Business Strategist

By Logan Chierotti

Every experienced businessperson understands the benefits of good mentors. The knowledge they bring can be instrumental to a founder’s development and directly spur company growth.

But what if you don’t have the network to generate a mentor that fits your current needs? Well, instead of waiting around, why not learn from the nation’s #1 business strategist.

You may have heard of him. His name is Tony Robbins.

Robbins is the ultimate life coach and an expert on business leadership. And when he’s not making participants walk on hot coals across the world at his seminars, he’s inspiring some of the biggest names in business. Robbins super fans include Salesforce.com CEO Marc Benioff and Paul Tudor Jones of the $13 billion hedge fund, Tudor Investment Corp.

Long story short – Tony Robbins is a good person to listen to when it comes to creating a successful business. With that in mind, it’s time to pay attention.

Here are Robbins 4 tips for building a business that lasts.

1. Focus on innovation – Innovative businesses meet the needs of their clients in a unique way. In order to be sustainable, you must continually innovate and evolve.

2. Focus on marketing – Good marketing requires that you first understand the true benefits of your product. Next, you must have a clear idea of what your customer’s actually want. With this complimentary knowledge base, you can create powerful marketing that will get your prospects attention.

3. Find your differentiation – Look hard at the market, then alter your offering to satisfy customer needs. By differentiating your offering, your business will stand out.

4. Maintain your drive – You must maintain proper motivation in order to innovate, market you product, and differentiate your offering. Building a business requires commitment, and maintaining your drive is a key component. Show up to the office every day with the same passion and energy you had when you first started.

For those of you who want to take a deeper look into his teachings, Robbins provides a number of intensive business courses such as business mastery, new money masters and mastering influence.

But don’t only rely on Robbins, or any other guru’s teachings for that matter. Even with good mentors and teachers, advice will only take you so far. More important, is the implementation of that advice.

For an added dose if inspiration, here’s a quote from Robbins about achieving great rewards in life.

“I believe life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and life’s greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never-ending commitment to act until they achieve. This level of resolve can move mountains, but it must be constant and consistent.”

Now get out there, be bold, and move mountains!

Read the original article HERE 

Darwin Was a Slacker and You Should Be Too

By ALEX SOOJUNG-KIM PANG

When you examine the lives of history’s most creative figures, you are immediately confronted with a paradox: They organize their lives around their work, but not their days.

Figures as different as Charles Dickens, Henri Poincaré, and Ingmar Bergman, working in disparate fields in different times, all shared a passion for their work, a terrific ambition to succeed, and an almost superhuman capacity to focus. Yet when you look closely at their daily lives, they only spent a few hours a day doing what we would recognize as their most important work. The rest of the time, they were hiking mountains, taking naps, going on walks with friends, or just sitting and thinking. Their creativity and productivity, in other words, were not the result of endless hours of toil. Their towering creative achievements result from modest “working” hours.

How did they manage to be so accomplished? Can a generation raised to believe that 80-hour workweeks are necessary for success learn something from the lives of the people who laid the foundations of chaos theory and topology or wrote Great Expectations?

I think we can. If some of history’s greatest figures didn’t put in immensely long hours, maybe the key to unlocking the secret of their creativity lies in understanding not just how they labored but how they rested, and how the two relate.

Continue reading Darwin Was a Slacker and You Should Be Too

Seven Keys to Effectively Manage Conflict

By Andy Stanley

The role of leadership is to leverage the tension to the benefit of the organization.  That’s your assignment as a leader.  You’ve got to learn through your personality, your position and your gifts to leverage these tensions for the benefit of the organization because these tensions result in progress, progress, progress when properly leveraged.

Here are seven quick suggestions.

A.  First, obviously, is to identify the tensions to be managed in your organization, and this isn’t really hard to do. Sit down and work through with your team members, “Hey, what are the tensions that in that aren’t going away?”  And here’s the key.  What are the tensions that shouldn’t go away that we have to learn how to properly manage?  If you don’t identify these tensions, you will spend hours trying to solve problems that can’t be solved and shouldn’t be solved.  And if you are a peacemaker by nature, if you are a conflict-avoider by nature you will lean in the direction of bringing about peace and giving up the tension, which will impede progress, and you will make everybody happy temporarily, but you may undermine the strength of your entire church or organization.  Identify the tensions.

B. Create terminology.  Create new terminology.  The terminology we use in our organization is simply this.  This is a tension to manage.  I’m telling you, in the midst of conflict, staff conflict, volunteer conflict, all of a sudden it’s bingo!  We’re trying to solve a problem that is actually tension we must learn to leverage.

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6 Vows Great Leaders Are Willing to Make and Keep

By Pastor Rick Warren

Leaders are always defined by self-imposed standards. I’m not talking about standards set by other people, but standards they set for themselves. Great leaders always expect more from themselves than they do from their followers. They put forth more effort as well. That’s leadership.

If you were to look through the New Testament for the phrase “make every effort,” you’d find it six times. They represent six important vows we need to make as leaders. I believe these six vows will lead to an effective and productive ministry.

1) Vow to maintain integrity

“Make every effort to be found spotless, blameless, and at peace with him” (2 Peter 3:14).

God doesn’t expect us to be perfect. No one is perfect. To be spotless and blameless means to live with integrity. How do you maintain integrity if you’re not perfect? You need to be transparent. A person of integrity is not claiming to have it all together in every area. On the contrary, the person of integrity is willing to be open about their strengths and weaknesses.

Having integrity also means living what you say you believe. You model what you teach. And you tell the truth, even when it’s tough. All leadership is built on trust. And trust comes from having the reputation for living out what you believe and for telling the truth. As a pastor and leader, people must trust you.

Will you make a commitment to lead with integrity? Will you be honest about both your strengths and weaknesses? Will you commit to living your sermons out every week? Will you tell the truth to those you lead even when it’s tough?

Continue reading 6 Vows Great Leaders Are Willing to Make and Keep

The 5 Seconds of Opportunity – Happening Multiple Times A Day

By LeaderTribe

This week’s video delivers very practical information the FIVE SECONDS between knowing the right thing to do and excuses entering your brain. “I’m too tired right now.” “Let me check email one more time.” “I don’t have all the information I need to make the call I don’t want to make!”

New research reveals that there are 5 SECONDS of opportunity that you will have several times per day. The people who are using this information best are being transformed. Careers are turning around, weight is being lost and marriages are being saved.

Watch the video, then get the FREE DOWNLOAD of the 3 page executive summary (adult cliff notes) for “The Power of Habit.”  If you like that summary, please just reply back to our email and we’ll send you out the 10 page summary as well!

Dr Rob

Read the original article HERE

How to Be an Inspiring Leader

By Eric Garton

When employees aren’t just engaged, but inspired, that’s when organizations see real breakthroughs. Inspired employees are themselves far more productive and, in turn, inspire those around them to strive for greater heights.

Our research shows that while anyone can become an inspiring leader (they’re made, not born), in most companies, there are far too few of them. In employer surveys that we conducted with the Economist Intelligence Unit, we found that less than half of respondents said they agree or strongly agree that their leaders were inspiring or were unlocking motivation in employees. Even fewer felt that their leaders fostered engagement or commitment and modeled the culture and values of the corporation.

Exceptional managers find and capitalize on their employees’ unique strengths. Learn how they do it with this 6 minute video slide deck. Download a customizable version in Subscriber Exclusives.

To understand what makes a leader inspirational, Bain & Company launched a new research program, starting with a survey of 2,000 people. What we found surprised us. It turns out that inspiration alone is not enough. Just as leaders who deliver only performance may do so at a cost that the organization is unwilling to bear, those who focus only on inspiration may find that they motivate the troops but are undermined by mediocre outcomes. Instead, inspiring leaders are those who use their unique combination of strengths to motivate individuals and teams to take on bold missions – and hold them accountable for results. And they unlock higher performance through empowerment, not command and control. Here are some of our additional findings about how leaders both inspire, and get, great performance:

You only need one truly “inspiring” attribute

Continue reading How to Be an Inspiring Leader

Empowering Leaders to Lead